As You Wish

Last night I actually felt like Rodney was my husband instead of co-parent to my child or helper in my daily affairs. Thanks to Michael, Erin, and Yuri (who stayed with Will) we went to a Nickel Creek concert (which was amazing). And, as we were waiting outside the Pageant (way cool venue- last night was my first experience) in the cool evening air, we actually cuddled. What began as a practical way to stay warm and do something as we stood waiting for our friends, became a good old-fashioned lovers' moment. It had become apparent in that little outdoor hug, that I had forgotten the goose bumps that Rodney used to give me. Instead of a lingering hug in the kitchen, lately our interactions consist of requests and occasional notices: "hey, can you...," "the lightbulb in the hallway...," "this Wednesday I have..." Basically I'm Robin Wright Penn and Rodney is my Wesley. Except, he most often turns into "inconceivable" guy after the barrage of requests and wishes he could poison my glass of cheap wine.

We have always tried to make 'date night' a priority ever since we got married (this coming summer will be 7 years), but it's gotten kind of rare. And when it does happen, it often turns out to be Rodney reading while I do a crossword puzzle to a few lit candles and 2 glasses of the aforementioned cheap wine. I decided right then and there, outside of the Pageant, that we needed a REAL date night. Complete with a babysitter. Who knows about the practicality of this, because honestly, where would the money come from for a babysitter AND a night out (those of you with parents or in-laws in town to watch your kiddos, be very thankful). But, I've been pleasantly surprised at the recent response for a babysitter request on Monday nights until Rodney is done with his class in Greenville. Also, our friends, Amy and Jimmy (parents of 1 yr. old twins) have recently set up a babysitting-exchange of sorts. Maybe the idea isn't too far fetched afterall. Perhaps it's worth getting something arranged for a weekly date so that we can "remember Rio".

remember Rio?


Onto an anectdote from last night. So, as we were walking out of the house I asked Rodney: "I don't need anything for tonight, do I?" I really didn't want to take a purse, so I just grabbed my keys and cell phone. Turns out I truly did need my wallet because they were carding people (duh) to be in the sections where alcohol was served, which I initially didn't think was a problem, except that I really wanted a beer. So, I got a huge red X marked on my hand:

huge red X


And entered with my friends (all of whom remembered their IDs). Then, we tried to go upstairs where our seats were and the stupid little 18 yr. old bouncer said to me: "No minors upstairs." Ahem. I'M 29, YOU IDIOT!*$$#$%%!! Of course I didn't say that, I was just so embarrassed. The good thing is we had some time before the show started and Rodney (Wesley) drove home to get my ID so I could be an adult with the rest of the group.

As soon as he got back, I showed my "beer ticket" at the door and got a few black stamps over the huge red X. Upon getting upstairs I promptly walked over to the bar and bought a beer. I'm sure someday I'll be excited when others think I'm a minor. But for now, I'm glad to have access to the "grown-up" areas. Funny: Brent and Susan told me I should show them my cesarean scar. Surely only adults can have babies- especially via c-section. Hah.

I'll leave you with a tooth (teeth) picture of Will. I can't believe he has 2 teeth already.

Sunday's Post Finished

Ok. Before I actually finish the thoughts from the other day, I thought I'd start this post with some pretty funny pictures. This is Will after I put him in his crib to watch his mobile for a bit while I putzed (I believe this is a technical term) around the house. He had on a new pair of jeans that are slightly big on him. He managed to squirm them right off his little booty while I did my putzing. This also revealed a very shady diapering job by Dad (aka Rodney).




So, I know I said I'd write yesterday, but I started and there was too much to write and too many pictures I wanted to post that it took me till today to finish.

Let me start with #2 from "know this" (Sunday's post).

WILL IS NOW PUTTING HIMSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT:

I've described the Ferber method briefly in a previous post, but here is a recap.

-Dr. Richard Ferber: leading scientist in the field of sleep training/disorders in children
-Holds that if babies are not "settled" (sleeping through a good portion of the night on their own) by 3-4 months of age they need to be taught new sleep associations through the "progressive waiting" method.
-Consistent day/night napping/sleep schedules help set rhythms that encourage nighttime sleep
-Bedtime/naptime routines also help
-All sleep should be in the same place as much as possible

So here's the "progressive waiting" method in a nutshell:

-After bedtime routine, put baby sleepy but awake in crib
(commence crying)
-Leave nursery and wait 3 minutes before returning
-Return after 3 minutes, reassure baby you are there (pat, tell them
you are there, you love them but no picking up)
-Leave nursery (crying continues) repeat above steps by waiting:
5, 10, 10, 10 minutes (until baby falls alseep on his own)
-Second night starts at 5 minutes, third at 10, etc.

Here's what happened for us:

baby cried for total of:
Night 1: 3 1/2 hours
Night 2: 13 minutes (wow)
Night 3: 1 hr. 40 minutes
Night 4: 21 minutes
Night 5: 8 minutes

Now he cries for 2-5 minutes tops when we put him down and sometimes not at all. When he wakes in the night he's usually back to sleep before it's time to check on him (about 10 minutes) unless it's been 7 hours since our last feeding. With such an early bedtime, that means we're up around 3 am for that feeding. I have been trying to brainstorm how to work with this. Should I wake him around 11pm and feed him and get up at 6 so that it's more like a full night? Or, do I keep it the way things are and eventually push that 3 am feeding to 6 and then 7? I'm kind of inclined to do option two because it seems more naturally locked in to his hunger rhythms. How did the rest of you moms and dads work with this? I would love some advice/feedback.

I guess the best thing is that he's actually sleeping on his own. Thank God for Ferber!!! Thanks to all who suggested their favorite sleep book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby". This book also got a great rating in "Baby 411" (A) and I'm sure I would have used it if I hadn't already purchased the Ferber book. I would love to hear more about your sleep stories and how your methods worked for you. This has been one of the biggest challenges (along with breastfeeding) we've been faced with since little Will has entered our lives.

On to other things:
Here is the "undeniably" cute picture we took of Will at Eckerts last weekend (and some other pics from the same trip). Also, I added a cute picture I took while he was hanging in his crib.


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Today is a Day for Singing not Blogging, Unfortunately

Geez. I have so much to write about it's not even friggin' funny. But, as the title indicates, it will all have to wait until Will's afternoon nap tomorrow. Just know this:

#1. The Eash Family and the Malone Family went to Eckert's yesterday and I took the most undeniably cute picture of William (you'll see it tomorrow).

And, #2. My son, perfect little darling that he is (I'm totally serious, I honestly could not love him more), IS PUTTING HIMSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT!!!!


Now, 3 am is not exactly for sleeping yet because he still needs to eat once in the night (more on that later), but the rest of the night is! Ahhhhh. I hope to add a few more "h's" to that lenghty 'ahhhhh' in about a week. We'll see (like I said, more on this later).

Today I have a master class and I will be singing 'Voi Che Sapete' from Mozart's The Marriage of Figaro, which is a "pants part" (woman playing a young man/boy). Lately I've been kind of excited about opera, even though I have almost no experience with it. This is mostly due to the fact that my voice teacher, Carol, recently told me she thought my voice was suited for it. She also recently told me she thought I could be famous (delusional? this will have to be a whole new post- perhaps nap #3 tomorrow). So, as I wish I could write more, today is a busy singing day. But, now that you're totally interested, stay tuned for the next post when I can actually finish these stories/thoughts/anecdotes/recountings, blah blah blah...

Very Soon 3 am will be for sleeping. Ahhhhhh.

So, last night we started Ferber. For those unfamiliar, it is a sleep training method created by the noted sleep scientist, Dr. Richard Ferber. He is considered to be the leading individual in the field of sleep disorders and sleep training in children and adolescents. He published his book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" in 1985 and has recently come out with a new edition. Dr. Ferber created the progressive-waiting approach in which you put your child sleepy but awake in bed/crib and allow them to cry at increasing intervals before going in to briefly check on them (sorry, no picking up). Each night you increase the number you wait to go in by a few minutes and anywhere from 1-7 nights your child is sleeping through the night without your aid. Here's what happened last night:

First of all Will's nap schedule was all funky yesterday, so he didn't get an afternoon nap and went down at 8:30 VERY easily (didn't even cry). But, then he was up at midnight and cried for 2 hours, slept for 30 minutes, then cried for and hour and a half, at which point I fed him (it had been 7 hours between feedings) and he went right back to sleep (laid him awake in crib, no crying) until 7:40 this morning. It was so hard. The funny thing is that the hardest part was not actually listening to him cry for so long, but it was not falling asleep while he did because I had to go into to his room every 5-10 minutes. I wanted to sleep so badly. Technically last night should be the worst of it, so that's good, and today naps shouldn't be too hard since he's pretty tired from crying a good portion of the night. I'll keep you posted.

Here's an update from the weekend.

CHICAGO MARATHON: FREAKING HOT AND I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE CAN RUN 26 MILES IN THAT HEAT.

Well, it was actually proven that they can't because, as you may know from hearing the news over the weekend, they ended up calling off the race after 4 hours and one guy even died. Michael and Paul finished with amazing stamina and Lena had to stop due to extreme exhaustion and injury. I am so amazed and proud of the three of them. Here are some pictures. I'm mad because I didn't get any of Lena or Erin (Paul's girlfriend), but here are some from the race and also some random photos from the weekend.

Today was a glorious day-

Rodney stayed home from work today which meant I could sleep a little longer while he played with the baby. Which also meant that, because for him being home was a bonus due to a doctor's appointment for his knee, he took a lot of responsibility for Will. He held him whenvever he could, took him for a walk when he got fussy, and got him ready for bed. He also got up with him a few times last night (our weekend schedule screwed us/Will up, so he's back to getting up every 3 hours or so).

It's so crazy how this parenting thing has been so completely life-changing that it takes two people for it to feel like you're not losing your mind sometimes. It definately refreshed me having Rodney's help today.

I think I feel like I needed it lately because I've come down with a cold over the past few days. Usually this would not be a big deal (and it still isn't really), but I think due to lack of sleep my body is trying to pull all the energy it can to repair itself so I feel REALLY slow and tired. I even felt a little achy/sore yesterday. Today is better (I had Rodney get me some Claritin and I took a long afternoon nap).

It's interesting to me how I have all these things I want to do with my day and it never ceases to amaze me how I can never seem to accomplish them all. Here's my ideal schedule:

7/7:30 am- up, breakfast, read, baby plays
8:30- walk/run
9/9:30- baby naps, I take a shower, get ready for the day
10:30- baby up, playtime, run errands
12:30ish- baby naps, I sing, work on Bach Society music, cook/clean
3:30ish- baby up, play, get baby ready to go with Rod while I go to: Bach,voice,etc.
6:00- home for the night, have dinner with Rod, get baby ready for bed
8:00pm- baby to bed, relax for a few hours before going to bed myself

Most days we can pretty much accomplish these things, but some days are harder than others. Usually that means Will was pretty fussy and wanted to held quite a bit, OR we were up a lot the night before, so I try to sleep when he does which means I get very little done that day. On these days I usually have to prioritize. Sometimes that means I don't get a shower or take a walk. Sometimes I just have to be O.K. with a messy/dirty house. The only non-negotiable for me right now is singing everyday. I should really add some sort of exercise to the list of non-negotiables, too.

Recently I have taken to marveling at women to have multiple children and seem to have such smooth-running households, not to mention look showered, make-uped, and generally rested. Maybe this is a facade, or maybe they are just so intune to the rhythm of their daily lives with a family that each moment of the day has a purpose and that purpose is fulfilled.

As I reflect on this a bit more I think of some pretty amazing moms I knew growing up. I think of Julie Fritzsche, the mom of my best friend from elementary school, Dawn. She had 4 kids, 2 biological daughters and 2 foster children which they adopted. Her home her home was ALWAYS a place of warmth and love where her children came first. I spent as much time as possible with Dawn and her family because it always seemed like their house was a center for their kids. I NEVER felt like I was a burden, and I suspect neither did her children. I'm pretty sure her house wasn't always clean and picked up either. I think of my friend Ashley's mom, Trina. I met Ashley at community college my first year after graduating high school and we spent gobs of time at her house. Trina's home was so light and loving and filled with good food, good music, and a hearty love for God and her children. I think of Sue Cornell, another mom of a friend growing up. Her home was the meeting place after school. She gave us jobs so we could have extra spending money, she gave us advice on school and boys and life and we were ALWAYS welcome in her home. I think of my own mother, who was not always patient with us, was uptight about the way her house looked and ran, sometimes didn't let my brother and sister and I just be kids. But, she prayed with us, sang to us, cooked us the BEST food, believed we were the most beautiful and talented children she could have asked for, and wouldn't let others tell her how to be. She was, is, a strong woman.

I aspire to be all these women.

Will I ever get there? Who knows. I suppose it helps to remember to take each day, each moment, as it comes and rely upon my intelligence to work through each problem as it occurs, all the while reminding myself that life is too short to get caught up for too long in any one episode or issue. It also helps to keep my sense of humor, read a book that's not about solving my baby's latest issue, and keep my girlfriends close. Some days will suck, some days will be good. Still others will be great.

I take heart in knowing that today was good (thanks to Rodney) and tomorrow is another day.

Now to bed...

Drumroll please....

Well, the numbers are in. Today was Will's 4 month check up, and besides getting a heavy dose of immunizations, we got his measurements and percentiles:

Head: 43.4 (cm? i don't know)- 75th %
Length: 26 inches- 90th % !!!
Weight: 16 lbs. 4 oz- 80th %

O.K., so it's confirmed that we have a MONSTER on our hands! No wonder my back aches!!

Here's the boy, post-shots nap, in his new fall football look:


We just got back from McPherson last night and here are some pictures from the weekend. Happy birthday to Grandpa Bill and Cousin Logan!!! We had such a great time in Mac-town. We love you guys.

Crystal, Eddie and Cousin David


Crystal, Aunt Joan, Cousin David and Will


Cousin Yuri, Will, Grandma Malone and Aunt Joan


Great Grandparents and Great Grand Children


Logan: stone-angel, skater




Grandpa Jerry and Will


Grandma Nancy reading Will a bedtime story


Pinata fiasco




Newell Cousins


Aunt Cheryl and Will


Grandpa Jerry grillin' and Uncle Mendel hangin'


Yuri and the activity gym


Grandpa Bill (namesake)and Will


Cousin Adison cutely farting on the dining room table after a filling meal

Sleepless Nights and Favorite Moments

I started this post last night, and finished this morning:

Yummmm. I just finished a mixture of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and chocolate chocolate fudge (with a bit of peanut butter mixed in- I guess I was craving something sweet AND salty).

It's been a while since I last posted and a lot has been happening. First let me start with a description of one of my favorite moments lately (minus the ice cream bliss mentioned above): Will is finally asleep, I place him in his crib (my back aching from minutes of walking and bouncing which is the only way he'll fall asleep). I walk out of the room, quietly close the door and....freedom!!!!!

Until...25 minutes later...

A cry is heard on the monitor. I'm home alone tonight so I'm taking turns with myself (atleast until Rodney gets back from poker). Yeesh. I walk into the baby room, pick Will up and start the back-achy process anew. If I'm lucky it should only take a few minutes. It does. Yesssss. The other night it took 40 minutes to get him back to sleep during one waking episode.

Rodney was gone this past weekend on a bike trip with his dad and brother and I was able to do quite a bit of reflecting and reading regarding this whole sleep situation. After 4 straight months of not getting any myself, I'm ready for things to change. In my reading I found that if a baby is not sleeping through the night on their own by 3 to 4 months you need to take certain steps to encourage it. Things like set bedtimes and naptimes, a sleep routine (i.e. bath, storytime, prayers, lullaby), and napping in the same place as nighttime sleep. Also, babies Will's age are capable of going atleast 6 hours without food, so the idea is that you should try to soothe them with other things when they wake instead of feeding them. I knew this would be the hard part. You see since we saw the lactation consultant a month ago we were feeding frequently and on demand, which meant nightly feedings of every 3 to 4 hours. Well, now that things are going well with breastfeeding, this is no longer necessary. I decided I wouldn't do anything different until Rodney got home as far as nighttime wakings and I would just get through the weekend. But I did decide it was time to move Will into the nursery and start the napping and bedtime schedule/routine. This was actually fairly easy because Will has already gotten himself into a predictable rhythm. He has one short morning nap, a long afternoon nap, and occasional late afternoon nap, and he goes down for the night at 8pm.



When Rodney got home on Sunday night, we put the baby to sleep in the nursery and plugged in the monitor. The plan was to take turns with Rodney doing the first shift and me on the second. The first few nights were hard because I actually had gotten used to just pulling the baby into bed when he woke in the night and nursing him with the side-lying position so I could get some rest. So after feeding him at 7:30 and putting him down at 8, our goal was to get to 1 am before feeding again. Doesn't seem like a great stretch, but for Will it was. Rodney and I took turns trying to get him to get close to 6 hours and after 3 or 4 tries he got to 5 1/2. By the fourth night he went 7 hours (between feedings) on his own and one night he even went 8 1/2. Yay. The past two nights we haven't had to do any prodding and we've actually eliminated one night feeding. I suppose we could continue on this thread and get him to go the whole night, but we've heard excellent things about the Ferber method and we decided to do this in a couple of weeks if he's not already sleeping through the night on his own. The great thing about Ferber is that it also teaches them to soothe themselves to sleep, so when they wake up between sleep cycles, no back-achy rocking and bouncing. Oh, how I look forward to it...

With a plan in place I feel so much better. I've really been enjoying Will during the day lately (when he's not a complete fuss-bucket). He's at a fun stage where he can actually play independently for 15-20 minute stretches. I put him on his back in the activity gym and he plays with the dangling toys.



Also, we started using the exersaucer since he's gotten fairly good at holding up his head on his own. He gets frustrated after about 10 minutes, so that's as long as we leave him in it.




It feels like Will is growing up in the past week. I guess this is because I've been saying, "O.K. Will, time to grow up- you're not a newborn anymore!" This is a bittersweet feeling for me indeed. I'm ready for the independence that this stage will bring, but it also means he's growing so quickly already. One day he will be a big boy, then a man.

And then I'm sure I will ask myself, what was I so worried about?