Loud and Clear

There are times I feel like God is trying to tell me something. Sometimes it's just something little. Sometimes it's huge. I'm not always really certain what it is he's trying to say or what I should do, but there are times I feel like I should atleast stop and listen. The other day I was in the grocery store and I smelled my sister's perfume. At that exact moment I heard Sting over the store's stereo system, my sister's favorite pop musician. What was God trying to say??? Probably nothing. But I decided on a prayer for Earon.

The two themes that I've noticed lately are death and living amidst chaos.

Death
On Friday the mother of my best friend growing up died of colon cancer, a battle she had been fighting for the past 3 or 4 years. She was only 55. She was a very important person to me growing up, a motherfigure and an example of love to all those around her. A year ago yesterday Rodney's good friend from high school, Phil passed away. Why does death have to be a part of life? What can death teach us? What is God trying to tell me about death?

Chaos
Two nights ago we had a totally unexpected visit from good friends who were just driving through St. Louis on their way home from vacation. Let me tell you, my house was ABSOLUTELY TRASHED. I was so embarrassed. Had they come just two hours later, after dinner and the kids' bedtime, I would have had mostly everything picked up and the house in relative order. But there was something very intimate about having these dear friends stop by in the middle of my chaos. God was trying to tell me this: don't be so concerned with appearances. Relax. Care about people, connections, relationships. Forget about trying to control your environment. Oh, and their house is probably just as messy (they have three kids).

So how do these two things connect, if at all? Maybe in that life is too short to sweat the small stuff. Or even the big stuff. [We have HUGE projects in our home this summer that Rodney is tackling mostly himself. The rest we have to pay for with money we don't have....Don't sweat it, life's too short. We have a big mold problem in the house and we just found out we have lead...Don't sweat. Trust.] Trust.

So for now, I'm trusting that everything will turn out fine and I'm trying to enjoy the little things in life because who knows what may happen to me or my loved ones. I'm trying to smile more, enjoy my kids more, say "yes" more (isn't there a Jim Carrey movie out about this???).

If you haven't seen the movie from the link I posted above, make sure you watch the clip. It makes me cry everytime. I often need this reminder of God's gracious love, waiting for me to return to his open arms, sins and all. Even when I might not be listening...